Tag Archives: Steve Ballmer

Bing! Microsoft ex-employee tells his story of how Ballmer fired him

I have no doubt that with Ballmer’s retirement news, all sorts of new and old stories will surface (sorry, couldn’t help it) in the coming days. This is under the ‘new‘ category.

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Steve Ballmer to retire from Microsoft within 12 months

“Microsoft Corp. today announced that Chief Executive Officer Steve Ballmer has decided to retire as CEO within the next 12 months, upon the completion of a process to choose his successor.”

Correction: “…within the next 12 months, which is how long it usually takes for a PC to log-off and shut down.”

Via Microsoft

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Ballmer admits the obvious: Windows devices don’t sell

“We are not selling as many Windows devices as we want to.”

Steve Ballmer

Ballmer, stop planning the future of your company based on how many products you want to sell, and start planning your numbers based on what people will actually want to buy.

Via The Verge

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One Microsoft: Joy of Tech completely nailed it

I really like Joy of Tech. When they decide to be ironic, they are always just spot on. Today however they really killed it with their visual representation of Steve Ballmer’s email about a more efficient, concise and direct Microsoft.

Bravo.

Via AllThingsD

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One Microsoft: Ballmer announces changes to unify efforts

Steve Ballmer sent today a memo to his employees called One Microsoft in which he announces a big shake-up in the company as well as a change of strategy in their modi operandi. The goal is to unify and align efforts so they can develop products and services not only more quickly, but also more relevant, and if everything goes well for them, more successful.

Since Microsoft’s arms stretch across every segment linked to technology, this alignment could end up being very positive. However, taking into account their recent decisions (such as removing the Start Menu from Windows 8, which was enough to cause a shitstorm and was then reversed rethought and slightly modified on Windows 8.1, or the decision to stop gamers from lending or reselling their purchased games on Xbox One, also reversed after causing a universal rejection), this structure change will serve for nothing if they don’t stop and think long and hard about the way decisions like these are made.

In the text that was sent to the press called Transforming Our Company, Ballmer says that Microsoft will “build upon Windows and Xbox to strive for a single experience for everything in a person’s life that matters”.

This clears up a little last week’s weird episode in which Ballmer replaced Don Mattrick as head of Xbox division until a replacement was found. The replacement was already there. It just wasn’t time to announce it yet.

Bottom line is, the intention is great. Changes like these push people and companies forward (especially in this case, since these changes and attitudes have been guiding the market for quite a few years now, and it seems that Microsoft has finally absorbed them). We’ll talk about this again in a year or so. The ‘One Microsoft’ act has everything it needs to work out just fine. As long as they don’t actually pull a Microsoft One instead.

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Steve Ballmer will run the Xbox One division at Microsoft for the time being

I’m not sure what to say here. The best joke is the news itself.

Via BGR

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What the fuck is this, Microsoft? [Updated]

No, Microsoft. The Old Spice campaign isn’t exactly the best source of inspiration for your campaign trying to sell the key features of Windows 8.

I understand that when you don’t really have much to show to benefit your product you have to distract people a little to get your message across. Samsung has been doing this for years with their Galaxy ads. But this campaign looks like a journey through Steve Ballmer’s disturbed and incomprehensible mind. But hey, at least this time he didn’t work as spokesman as well.

Interesting to note that even in this campaign they actually showed the product.

Update:
Neowin reports that Microsoft has removed (or set as private) these videos from their YouTube channel. They speculate that maybe they were published before time by mistake. I speculate that the mistake was to make them at all.

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Steve Ballmer: “Dropbox is a fine little startup”

I don’t know if Steve Ballmer is really this idiotic or he just pretends to be. The fact is that whenever he opens his mouth you’ll feel a mix of urge to laugh and indignation.

The latest stupidity from Microsoft’s CEO/Buffoon came in a Bloomberg interview, in which he says that compared to the Microsoft Office numbers, Dropbox (which he refers to as a fine little startup) has very few users. That would be 100 million users, by the way.

Of course nothing beats the pathetic answer he gave regarding the iPhone back when it was first announced, but it’s this sort of crap and line of thinking that is making Microsoft sink lower and lower inside a hole they already can’t get out of.

He’s a poet when he keeps his mouth shut.

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Wild and uncontrolled

According to The Verge, Steve Ballmer gave Reid Hoffman, LinkedIn founder, an interview, and said that Android as a system is “wild and uncontrolled, susceptible to malware”. He went on to say that Apple’s ecosystem is too expensive and too controlled.

Speaking of wild and uncontrolled,

Way too much coffee.

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